Letting go.

Finding ways to stay sane in the current hellscape.

Last winter, we took the kids tubing for the first time. When we arrived at the ski resort, I felt a little nervous looking at the tubing hill—it looked a lot steeper up close. I’m a big chicken when it comes to rides, and so is my 10-year-old. I wasn’t sure how this was going to go.

Sure enough, when I pushed myself off the top of the slope, trying to model bravery for my son, every muscle in my body tensed—so tight it actually hurt! The same feeling I get every time I force myself through a theme park ride or airplane turbulence. But I made it to the bottom in one piece, and miraculously, so did my son, without much fuss.

We rode the conveyor belt back up, and the second time down, I felt it again—my body locked up, and I realized I was holding my breath. I noticed it, told myself to relax, and took a deep breath.

You know what happened? The fear disappeared. I couldn’t believe it.

I tried it over and over again that day, and every time, it worked. A deep exhale, a conscious release of every muscle in my body. In essence—letting go. I had already done the one thing I could control (pushing off the top of the hill). The rest? Up to gravity. Nothing I could do to change the outcome, so why even try? Just relax, let go, and trust that I’ll land safely at the bottom. It was a total revelation.

This year, when we went back, I told my son about the deep exhale and the full-body release. Vocalizing helps, too—since it forces an exhale—so we yelled “woo-hooooo!” on every leap off the top.

I think about this experience all the time. Every time anxiety bubbles up, I pause, realize how tense my body is, how shallow my breathing has become, and I take a deep breath. I remember the hill. How giving in to the experience—relinquishing control—made the fear evaporate.

Lately, there’s been plenty to be anxious about. So I’ve been actively working on ways to exhale—both literally and figuratively. I can’t control the big picture, but I can take small actions to keep things from feeling overwhelming. Here’s what’s been working for me:

1. Less Meta, More Meaningful Platforms – I’ve cut back on Facebook and Instagram, spending more time on Substack (which feels like the old blog days), Foto (which reminds me of early Flickr), and Bluesky (which has the charm of early Twitter). It’s not just the politics on Meta that are exhausting—it’s the ads, the clickbait, the noise. I open those apps and feel like I’m being yelled at by people I didn’t even sign up to see. So, I’ve stepped back.

2. Unsubscribing Ruthlessly – Instead of just deleting junk emails, I take the extra few seconds to unsubscribe. My inbox is so much quieter now! I didn’t realize how much of my day was interrupted by junk mail pings and deleting sale ads. Not anymore.

3. Disconnecting from Facebook’s Tracking – No more logging into other sites with Facebook. I’ve also turned off as many ad-tracking settings as I can. I don’t need anyone following my shopping habits and bombarding me with ads.

4. Reading More Books – Instead of doomscrolling the news first thing in the morning, I start my day with a page from The Book of Awakening. I also keep a book on my Kindle app for when I get the urge to scroll.

5. Listening to Music Instead of Podcasts – I’ve unsubscribed from podcasts that were piling up and making me feel behind. Music has been a much-needed shift and a major stress-buster. (I’m also into coffee shop soundscapes on Spotify!)

6. More Direct Connections with Friends – Instead of passively consuming social media updates, I’ve been texting friends to check in. Actual conversations over endless scrolling.

7. Goodbye, Amazon Wishlists – I deleted them all. I’ve switched to Bookshop.org and a simple note on my phone. Bezos doesn’t need any more of my money.

8. Mindfully Spending – Before buying something, I ask: Do I really need this? Can I buy it from someone locally?

9. Turning Off Notifications – Even the harmless ones, like water reminders. Too many pings!

10. No More Tracking Everything – I stopped tracking steps, carbs, and water intake. I’m five pounds lighter and infinitely less stressed. Turns out, constantly feeling like a failure over arbitrary numbers wasn’t doing me any favors.

11. Reading Less News – Just scanning headlines and following Heather Cox Richardson’s Substack for a digestible summary of the current hellscape.

12. Keeping a “Good Life” Notebook – After reading Matt Haig’s The Comfort Book, I started one of my own (well, a digital one on my iPad). I jot down small things that help when I’m feeling anxious. A little self-made guidebook to getting through.

The world is a total shitshow, but these little changes have been helping me stay sane.

What’s helping you right now?

Photo taken at Point Lookout (another stress-buster - get out in nature! Even if it’s cold!)